Nashville coffee shops have a bit of personality. You chose which one to go to based on what you're looking for, much like T.V. shows. We love personifying coffee shops, so we thought why not reality-T.V.-ify them? Behold, Nashville coffee shops if they were reality T.V. shows: The Bachelor - Barista Parlor HEAR US OUT. Walking into Barista Parlor is like pulling up in a limo with six other people you don't know and waiting your turn to make a good 3-second impression on a good-looking person (whom you also don't know) in the hopes that they will like you. Then you have to sit around at a cocktail party being watched and judged by the people around you (a.k.a. the other patrons). The Bachelor is also all about keeping up appearances and creating a specific atmosphere (FOR LOVE), which Barista Parlor nails (FOR COFFEE AND PRETENSION). Right?? Starting to see it?
Survivor - The Jam Can you handle crazy temperatures, unidentified food and beverages, and not having a place to sit? Welcome to Survivor/The Jam. May the odds be ever in your favor.
American Idol - Bongo Java It's the original (or you know, the first to make it big). While many other, newer, flashier coffee shops have come and gone and are making headlines today, we still know we can turn to Bongo for a good cup of coffee. Plus, if we go to the one near Belmont, we might even hear some of those crazy auditions. (You will. Whether you like it or not. - L, resident Belmont alum)
Dancing With the Stars - Fido Like Dancing With the Stars, Fido often hosts celebrities. Usually ones that rhyme with Faylor Quift. It's gotten some attention from other celebs as well we've since forgotten because we're Nashville and we play it cool here.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians - Pinewood Social Half of the experience of going to Pinewood Social is tweeting about it and instagramming it. There's also a lot going on at once -- bowling, bocce ball, a pool, games -- and everyone who's anyone is there. Kardashian'd.
Amazing Race - Ugly Mugs This shop and show are both classics with loyal fan bases. They're both quality, both family-friendly (for the most part), and both host a variety of cultures and people.
The Voice - Crema Crema started out as just another coffee shop, but won our hearts with simplicity, good coffee, and its laid-back style. The Voice started out as yet another singing competition, but won our hearts with story, good singing, and fun judges.
Top Chef - Edgehill Cafe That food, you guys.
Real Housewives - Cafe Coco People are up all night, and you never know what you're going to see at Cafe Coco. We're willing to bet there's probably been at least one alcohol-induced row at 2am there before.
House Hunters - Starbucks So basic. (Did we use that right?) You might even get to see a couple have a "discussion" about tile samples in Starbucks just as easily as on the show. Plus, nothing on House Hunters is real (we know -- it's disappointing), and neither is the pumpkin spice syrup.
Big Brother - Headquarters We haven't been there yet, but we've heard Headquarters is simply a counter and what is essentially a hallway with one table. Try getting away from the watchful eyes of Big Brother/baristas in that setting. It's probably similar to a talking head booth. Also that name? Suspicious.
Who did we miss? Do these matchups fit? Let us know in the comments!