An Open Letter to Returning Nashville College Students

college Dear 'Dores, Bruins, Bisons, Tigers, and Trojans,

Welcome back. We've been expecting you.

We know that soon you will descend in droves upon our shops and houses (of coffee). We're glad you're here to help support our local businesses and keep our 200+ coffee shops open year round.

However, your presence disrupts this sense of calm we townsfolk have grown accustomed to. You see, the past few months, we've been enjoying actually parking at Bongo, porch space at Frothy, and not having to overhear every detail of your biochem test prep at Fido.

Listen. We're not here to run you out of town. We just want to coexist peacefully. We can do this. We don't want another St. Scholastica's Day Riot of 1335 on our hands, ARE WE RIGHT?

One of the ways we're going to avoid conflict is by simply asking that you respect your townies. After all, we've been keeping your baristas well-tipped for the past two months. Specifically, we ask that you don't take up a 6-person table with piles of books for three hours. Don't hog the outlets (for some of us, this is our OFFICE, okay?). When discussing moral relativity and absolute truth, keep your volume to a respectable level. Don't hum vocal runs in the line at Bongo (looking at you, Belmont). Don't wear leggings as pants. Do wear pants. We feel these requests are reasonable.

Don't screw this up for us.

Love,

Coffee Shoppers (And Most Other Nashvillians)

Posted on August 6, 2014 and filed under coffee, Misc, Nashville, tips.