The 2014 Winter Olympics are finally here, you guys. We know you've been counting down the days since 2010 to cheer on Shaun White, Lindsey Vonn--wait, she's not competing--um, and...is Tara Lipinski still a thing? Anyway, you might be looking for a beverage to accompany watching (or participating in--we don't know your life) these events. As
licensed curators coffee bloggers, we have applied our expertise to provide you with the perfect beverage pairing for each event.
Alpine Skiing - Latte. No syrup, no whipped cream. Alpine skiing is basically just regular skiing, so let's not get too fancy.
Biathlon - Regular ol' Joe. Black. This is skiing and shooting. It seems like something Ron Swanson would do. You know what Ron Swanson would not do? Add anything else to his cup of coffee.
Bobsled - Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee. Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme… The Jamaicans are back this year! Support them by drinking their coffee.*
Cross-country skiing - Chai. Have you ever seen Russia on a map? It is one LARGE country. To cross it, you need a lot of energy.** Supposedly, chai releases caffeine over a period of eight hours. That's maybe long enough. You might need a refill.
Curling - English Breakfast Tea. The British love tea and the British love curling. They aren't necessarily the best at it (the Olympics aren't really their strong suit all around), but it's on their primetime Olympic coverage all day, every day (or at least, when Elizabeth was there in 2006, it was). Plus, can't you just see a bunch of jolly old chaps curling for a bit and then breaking for tea and biscuits?
Figure Skating - Hot Chocolate. Hot Chocolate and ice skating seem to go together. If you've been ice skating in your life, chances are, you followed it with some hot chocolate with marshmallows (and often a burnt tongue). Also, many figure skaters are still too young for coffee.
Freestyle Skiing - Maybe a red eye (shot of espresso in regular coffee). Maybe a red eye with four pumps of peppermint and a dash of Kahlua you brought from home. You don't care; you're CRAZY like that. It's freestyle. Anything could happen.
Ice Hockey - A large box of coffee from Dunkin' Donuts (Or, for our Canadian friends--you know who you are--replace "Dunkin' Donuts" with "Tim Hortons"). It's a team sport. Bring enough for everyone or not at all.
Luge - Sleepytime tea. Because you're going to need to be sedated if you're going to lie on your back on a sled skidding back and forth in an icy tube at 90mph, possibly to your death. Or if you're just watching, it will calm your stress level.
Nordic Combined - Black coffee, made in a filter coffee maker. This is apparently all the rage in Nordic culture. We know this because we discovered essentially the Nordic Coffee Shoppers and are now on a mission to befriend them.
Short Track Speed Skating - ESPRESSO. SHOTS OF ESPRESSO. Quick energy, quick race.
Skeleton - You drink whatever you want because what you're doing is very dangerous and you could die--face first. YOLO.
Ski Jumping - Cappuccino. This drink is mostly light and fluffy foam, and you don't need anything holding you down while you're soaring through the air like an eagle. Or watching someone soar through the air like an eagle thinking "I could do that."
Snowboarding - Is Mountain Dew in coffee a thing?
Speed Skating - Corto. This drink is a "short" espresso, so you'll get that burst of caffeine for the energy you need, but you're not double-fisting it like the short track guys. You've got a little longer to go in this race.
Sochi hijinks - Russian Coffee. Have you been reading the news? You'll need it to endure the crazy.
*Drinking Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee may or may not directly support their bobsled team.
**We may not have a full grasp on the concept of "cross-country."
What's your favorite winter Olympic sport?